I feel like I’ve been “in the middle of a divorce” for ages now.
I didn’t even want to be at the beginning of it and then couldn’t fathom being at the end of it. But this middle part sucks! And I keep saying I’m in the middle of it but for all intents and purposes it’s over and done. Just say it’s done. But this process, this muck, this limbo is so draining. It’s long, tedious, heart-wrenching and difficult. It’s a business deal of paperwork, negotiating, due diligence and math! How can a once fun, loving, caring, raising a family, committed marriage turn into a business deal to undo it all?!? Ugh! I feel like an idiot because I’m just trying to get through day by day and my ex has moved on, to a galaxy far, far away. May The Force be with Me! I’m like Princess Leia in the Death Star trash compactor ~ hoping the combined efforts of a Jedi, a pilot and a Wookie would help save her with their power, good looks and animal strength, but it took a droid to just turn it off. I thought I had some deep meaning there…anyone? Princesses, rely on yourselves.
Here’s my Top 5 Things I’ve Done to Get Through the Muck:
2. Spewed vile words
4. Cried while shopping
5. Cried some more
Oops, that’s not the Top 5 Constructive Things I’ve Done to Get Through the Muck:
1. Got counseling for myself — best thing ever for venting, learning tools to deal with sadness and anger, learning co-parenting, finding my self worth, setting goals, accepting my responsibility
2. Committed to being a great mom — my child is my main purpose and most important thing to take care of and I need to keep him safe, happy and confident
3. Took things slowly — hence still being in the muck; enabled me to be more rational, accept things and gain perspective and not punch anyone
4. Committed to bettering myself — as a woman, as a creative businesswoman, as a worthy person, as a true-to-myself happier person, as a strong, resourceful and able woman, family person and friend
5. Joined a church — to find my spirituality and to reconnect with the higher power of God that I believe in; to find strength in the faith and the community
Please take time to be constructive and resourceful in the muck, it helps you in the long run. You’ll get out!