Covet every single thing in the new Sundance catalog.
Pore over the catalog at night in bed and dream about Old Gringo and some slouch boots from Spain. Try to figure out how many hats I need to sell in order to buy every single thing in the Sundance catalog. Give up since I can’t do math in my head anyway and figure I should be sewing or teaching 24/7 just to get one Sundance outfit. Leave the catalog on the bed and go on-line at DSW and Steve Madden.
Covet all Fall boots.
Try to figure out how many hats I need to sell in order to buy every single boot on DSW and Steve Madden. Decide that’s very materialistic and selfish and just wear last year’s boots but save for one suede slouch pair with rubber soles. Escape the fog and the tourists by going to the mall in Daly City to look for a jacket and because it’s so beautiful to drive over Devil’s Slide. When the sun comes out along the way, change mind and stop at Pacifica Safeway to get dog food and cookies. Stop at Ross instead of the mall so I can get back and enjoy the sunshine.
Find the perfect pair of faux suede slouch boots with rubber soles! Hide my excitement while frantically searching for my size in case of severe disappointment or that another crazed shopper snatches it out from under me. Find a pair ½ size smaller than I wear but decide to stuff my foot into them anyway. Revel in JOY that they are roomy, they fit, they look great, and they are trendy. Best of all, they are very inexpensive, just $19.99 – I just saved so much money, and an animal! So much that I can’t even calculate it. Realize just how dang lucky I am and that there really is more to life than boots. Expensive boots, I mean — cheap boots, no big deal, I mean it’s not like I’m obsessed or anything. JOY!!
p.s. then spend 15 minutes taking a picture of yourself in your boots, folding the slouch up, then down, because it would be creepy to have your kid do it, but it’s not creepy at all to do it yourself…