I expect people to drive with purpose and not like idiots. I expect store clerks to be nice and helpful. I expect my McDonald’s fries to be perfect every time. I am constantly disappointed. I expect my ex-husband to act in a certain way, to chat with me about the last episode of “Glee” and to connect with me in some way by warmly reminiscing about our life together. Again, I am constantly disappointed. You know how you learn new things all the time and that light bulb finally comes on? Well, I just learned that anger is the quickest emotion to surface and we often get angry when our expectations are not met. Duh, I prolly knew that. Often, the anger is actually masking another emotion such as sadness or fear. I’m sad when I don’t connect with my former husband. But I feel angry because I feel ripped off and rejected. I don’t know if my expectations were too high, but I’m learning not to expect the same as I did. I don’t really want to go through life with low or no expectations about everything, and I won’t, but in one sense I won’t expect my ex to act like the person I loved. I can’t because he’s different now and so am I. And I don’t want to feel the anger and sadness any longer; I want to accept the situation. I’m going to expect to be surprised. I’m going to expect something new and interesting. I’m going to expect a reconfigured relationship. Or, I’m going to be surprised and get totally annoyed and get angry all over again, it could happen. I still feel that hope and love will resurface and get stronger in my life. So, I can’t have low expectations of people, just different ones. We are all human and that includes me.
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